I just finished my second Chemo cycle. My schedule is that I go every 28 days for 2 days. This time they left the IV in and I went home only to return the next day so they didn't have to poke me twice. It was odd and hurt to have it in. Showering was a challenge because I could not get it wet and using my left hand when I am right handed was hard. Yesterday was a sickness day. It is hard to describe the funk you feel with all these chemicals running through your body. It is like having the worst flu. Nothing tastes good but you have a thirst that is crazy.
My love has been so good thru all this. Doing so much, with a smile on his face. Yesterday he came home from work with a beautiful flower arrangement and a card that was so sweet. I am blessed to have him. I don't like seeing the worry in his eyes and wish I could assure him that we have nothing to worry about. I am a fighter and I know I will get thru this cancer. God finally gave me a love and it would be cruel to take it away.
I have been feeling lonely lately. I live farther away from family and friends now. I miss the quick lunches and visits. It is harder to start over making friends in a new town, especially now that I am sick. I spend my days alone, with the cats as companions. I paint, read, look at Facebook to see what my friends are up to... It is a sad life right now. I could use some help with things but everyone is so far away, and I can't ask them. I hate putting more burden on CJP, so I try my best to do things on my own. This is the time I miss my friends..
It is hard being friends with someone who is sick. Most people don't know what to do or say. If you have a friend who is sick, reach out and ask what you can do. Share a pint of ice cream, make a phone call. Little things mean a lot when you are sick. Knowing someone cares is tremendous.
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